"Wait... let me Facebook him..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7GgBlLxwH4

In the clip above, Drew Barrymore’s character in He’s Just Not That Into You expresses how difficult it is to communicate with a guy she likes and the plethora of new technology available has made the rules of dating so much more difficult. In today’s society, we are constantly connected—whether it is through cell phones, social networking sites, or instant messaging. However, technology has made the rules of dating so much more difficult.

Say you meet a friend’s friend briefly one night and you got each other’s cell phone number. There is an unwritten law that guys wait at least 3 days before they call—if they even call at all. By knowing the guy’s first name, you can easily search him on Facebook through your friend’s friend list. By seeing his limited profile, you can figure out his school, network, and age as well as browse through his profile pictures and judge his lifestyle based on the pictures he chooses to display. The profile picture is the first thing anyone notices on Facebook and in Ollivier Dyens’ Metal Flesh and the Evolution of Man: Technology Takes Over, the author states that we live in a technological reality “assembled by humans and machines” and it is “perceived, decoded, and encoded by a man/machine perception” (Dyens 10). Furthermore, Dyens claims that technology shapes our understanding of the world and as a result, nature can no longer “exist apart from technologies” (11). With so much information that can be learned through browsing one’s Facebook profile, first impressions are no longer based on face-to-face interaction. Dyens states that “machines coevolve with us; our respective existences are completely tied to each other” (11). Technology plays a large role in shaping our perception of others and it is difficult to change our perception of one’s virtual identity to coincide with their real identity.

Samsung's ad illustrates how different angles can hide flaws and alter your appearance for a more flattering profile picture:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhrZyFAbUCw

Girls often have double the amount of display pictures in their profile picture album compared to guys. Furthermore, girls put in more effort in angling their photos, adjusting the lighting, and meticulously choosing the most flattering photo that they want to display themselves with. In Susan Bordo’s The Male Body: A New Look at Men in Public and in Private, Bordo states that “it’s feminine to be on display” (Bordo 173) while men are “judged by their accomplishments” (174). In addition, women learn to “play into the sexualizing gaze”(173) and in Laura Mulvey’s “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema”, Mulvey associates the pleasure of viewing to Freud’s idea of scopophilia. Freud defines scopophilia as “taking other people as objects [and] subjecting them to a controlling and curious gaze” (Mulvey 9). Facebook photos allow “the erotic basis for pleasure in looking at another person as object” (9). Furthermore, Facebook allows people to create their identity with their profile and girls often use this opportunity to exhibit a more sensuous self that they are too shy to portray in real life. Girls portray a 2D sexuality by posing suggestively and wearing revealing clothing in order to attract more attention. A study of MySpace claims that females are more “likely to display sexually explicit content online” and after studying MySpace pages that contain sexual content, the study shows that 60% of the pages came from teen girls (Cohen, 2010). In Claudia Benthien’s Skin: On the Cultural Border Between Self and the World, Benthien claims that touch used to be associated with “closeness, intimacy, and eroticism” but with the plethora of new technology we have today, interactive touch in the new media can be defined as teletactility: “the sensual experience of closeness and intimacy… linked with anonymity and physical distance” (Benthien 221). Facebook allows individuals to flirt with one another through wall posts, private messages, “liking” one’s posts, or “poking” (which holds more sexual connotation) but Benthien highlights that these “cyber-sexual implications” result in “intimacy through interface [which is] intimacy without proximity” (Benthien 227). 

An example of racy photos posted on Facebook or sent through text. (I found this photo through Google)

 A recent trend in sexting has allowed teens to engage in “intimacy without proximity” (227). People can now say sexually explicit things and portray a promiscuous identity that one may be afraid to do so face to face. This allows teens to create an alluring illusion that they’re sexually available and sexually experienced. Sexting illustrates Benthien’s claim that “Sexual experience of the future is autoerotic and narcissistic” (226) and Facebook also aids this narcissistic sexual experience as girls try to attract attention by posting sexually suggestive photos in hopes of getting compliments from friends and strangers to boost their self-confidence. Sexual experience through technology “requires more of an organizer than a partner” (226) compliments online is a mere ego-boost and by actively posting these photos and exposing one’s virtual identity, one can actively pursue virtual sexual experience from an infinite number of people. Similarly, cell phones have allowed people to engage several people at once with a few texts anywhere, anytime. With technology, the user can actively interact with many people until the user is satisfied with the outcome. 

"Life is short. Have an Affair"

Does technology aid or inhibit the rules of dating? With Facebook, you can monitor another’s actions and postings while Blackberry messaging indicates whether the receiver has read your message, making you wonder why the receiver has not replied. In a world of immediacy, Drew Barrymore’s character in He’s Just Not That Into You shows overaccessibility from technology is preventing us from having interpersonal interaction. Online dating websites such as Match and eHarmony advocates that technology helps you find love more efficiently than in person. However, Ashley Madison, a dating website targeted to married people, changes the rules drastically. 

Ashley Madison's Controversial Ads:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahPsgo5_pbE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJ7IuSG5Ra8&feature=related

Their slogan “Life is too short. Have an affair” promotes infidelity but the founder claims that many people are in sexless marriages and do not want to leave their spouses and with the aid of technology and Ashley Madison, the founder claims that the company “preserves more marriages than [they] break up (Daum, 2009). Similarly, Dr. Moreno’s study indicate while teens are using technology to reference sexual behaviour, technology allows a “public forum” for teens to discuss sexual behaviour and “‘test out’ their sexual identities before ‘moving into this world of being a sexual person’” (Cohen, 2010). While teens may post sexually explicit photos of themselves, this outlet of sexual expression allows them postpone sexual involvement in the real world until they are ready.

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Benthien, Claudia.  Skin: On the Cultural Boarder between Self and the World. New York: Columbia University Press, 2002.

Bordo, Susan.  The Male Body: A New Look at Men in Public and in Private. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2000.

Cohen, Tobi.  “Explicit teen tweets a clue for parents it may be time to talk sex: study.”  Vancouver Sun.  Modification Date: 1 May 2010.  Access Date: 17 November 2010.  < http://www.vancouversun.com/life/ Explicit+teen+tweets+clue+parents+time+talk+study/2975304/story.html>

Daum, Meghan.  “Ashley Madison’s Secret Success.”  LA Times.  Modification Date: 10 January 2009.  Access Date: 17 November 2010.  < http://articles.latimes.com/ 2009/jan/10/opinion/oe-daum10>

Dyens, Ollivier.  Metal Flesh and the Evolution of Man: Technology Takes Over. Boston: The MIT Press, 2001.

Mulvey, Laura.  “Visual Pleasure and Narrative Cinema” Screen 16.3 Autumn 1975 pp. 6-18 <http://www.jahsonic.com/VPNC.html>

Childhood Robbed

Gibson Girl to the Vamp: Cher from Clueless (1995), Regina from Mean Girls (2004), to Evie (left) in Thirteen

Throughout the 90’s and the early 00’s, the popular girl in teen movies seems like the exact replica in each movie. She was tall, often blonde, conventionally beautiful, skinny, have nice clothes, wealthy, has a good-looking boyfriend, and the entire student body would bend over backwards for her. The popular girl didn’t necessarily have to be sexually experienced, as Cher in Clueless (1995) was virgin, but she must be attractive to the opposite sex. In the movie Thirteen, the popular girl image shifted from the Gibson Girl to the Vamp. She is no longer a girl of a “coveted social status” (Kitch 39) and came from wealth, like a Gibson Girl, but she still used her “beauty [as her] greatest asset” (40). The movie shows a shift in the popular girl image— from the all American girl-next-door to the dark and sexual vamp. The popular girl now is a temptress and she has no issues with expressing her sexuality. The shift in image of the popular girl to a hypersexualized version becomes evident as sexual experience becomes synonymous with popularity. In Mean Girls (2004), queen bee Regina George hooks up with other guys while dating her boyfriend, and in Gossip Girl (2007), socialite Serena Van Der Woodsen has sex with countless guys, including her best friend’s boyfriend and a married man, before she is barely legal. Why has teen media shifted towards using sex for shock value as most of these girls have barely reached the age of consent? What encourages young girls to act promiscuous for attention?

Erotically Charged Ads for CW's Gossip Girl

Advertising has played a large part in shaping the way we think and how we perceive ourselves. We unconsciously internalize the ideologies presented in advertising and we compare our reality to the reality presented in ads. Our society became drastically eroticized over the past few decades and advertising has contributed to the change. During the late 1940’s and 1950’s, “a general wave of propaganda that had served to discipline the minds and the habits of American women” and in Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique, she claims that the erotic as a sex tool was a way for “men [to] use sex to blind women to their real need: freedom” (Rutherford 147). During the late 1960’s and 1970’s, advertisers saw the success of “the erotic sell” and advertising shifted towards being more sexually charged (Rutherford 127). While using the illusion of sex as an advertising tool was to limit women’s freedom, over the years, women have gained a false consciousness that they are liberating themselves by actively choosing what to buy. Women falsely believe that “to be able to buy is the same as being sexually desirable” (Wykes 86). Shopping has become a bonding session for women and they find comfort in retail therapy. In Paul Rutherford’s A World Made Sexy, the author accounts for this false belief to an “eroticized” economy and a “commodified” libido (Rutherford 6). Regardless of the product, advertisers recognize the shock value that came with sexually suggestive advertisements as they make people stop and stare. In women’s magazines, almost all ads feed into the women’s false consciousness that they need products to be attractive. Naomi Wolf further reinforces this as “a commodified ‘beauty’ [links] directly and explicitly to sexuality” (Wolf 11).

Screenshots from Thirteen: Skyy Blue ad, Calvin Klein ad, & Gentlemen's Club ad

Everyday, we are so bombarded with ads that we no longer notice them and “the erotic sell” has to be borderline pornographic for the ad to be noticed (Rutherford 127). The placement of advertisements in Thirteen is a realistic portrayal of how advertisements are dispersed in reality. While ads are ubiquitous, it often blends in with our surroundings and it takes careful observation to actually see the ads. During the protagonist Tracy’s bus ride to spend time with popular girl Evie for the first time, the camera focuses on the glamorous advertisements that Tracy passes by on her way to Melrose Avenue. The camera focuses on four ads— three of which are erotically charged ads. A SKYY Blue vodka ad with a sweaty coupled wearing next to nothing, a Calvin Klein ad with topless models, and a gentleman’s club ad with a nude female performer are highlighted as Tracy gets closer to Melrose Avenue.

"Beauty is Truth" Ad's First Appearance in the Movie

"Beauty is Truth" Ad's Many Appearances throughout the Movie

As she gets off the bus, a beauty ad with the copy “Beauty is Truth” is prominently displayed and the same ad is shown repeated throughout the movie at various points of her life. In Tracy’s room, various ads, including the “Beauty is Truth” ad, are plastered around her room. Everyday, Tracy would wake up to the beauty myth defined by Naomi Wolf as “the quality called ‘beauty’ [that] objectively and universally exists. Women must want to embody it and men want to possess women who embody it” (Wolf 12). By seeing these images everyday, Tracy becomes brainwashed to believing that there is only one acceptable form of beauty. When I was younger, I would tape ads and pictures of celebrities and models around my room as well but I never thought of how influential these images can be on young teenage girls growing up. The “Beauty is Truth” ad appears in Tracy’s bedroom, the poster appears when Tracy is drunk on the streets, and again in the end of the movie when Tracy calls Evie after Evie ignores Tracy at school. The ad is vandalized at the end of the movie which symbolizes Tracy breaking her friendship off from Evie—the destructive beauty that Tracy wants to become.

Tracy surrounds herself with unrealistic beauty

Throughout the movie, Tracy’s admiration for Evie is evident. Evie attracts everyone’s attention with just a glimpse of her presence. Described as “the hottest girl in school” by the protagonist’s brother, Evie embodies the characteristics of a vamp: “sin”, “illicit sex”, “temptation” (Kitch 58), “dark, [and] sexual” (61). On the first day of school, the boys claim that “looks like [Evie] grew up this summer”, implying she has matured and developed curves. Tracy closely observes the attention Evie gets from the boys as she walks by in tight low-rise jeans and a revealing lace-up top that is short enough to show her belly ring. While Tracy’s classmates admired Evie for her beauty, Tracy was envious of what Evie’s beauty got her. In Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth, she states that people want “beauty” because of what it involves: “the attention of people we do not know, rewards for things we did not earn, … the promise of confidence, sexuality, and self-regard of a healthy individuality” (Wolf 285). As Tracy slowly molds herself to look like Evie, her confidence slowly reflects how much skin she is showing. However, Tracy’s relationship with her skin becomes a battle between love and hate. The claim that “skin [is] the place ‘where the ego is decided’” reflects how Tracy is searching for her identity (Benthien 1). Tracy and Evie uses skin as a “projection surface and a fetish” with their revealing low cut tops and deliberately pulling their thongs above their jeans. Tracy enjoys the attention she gets when she reveals more skin but social acceptance and attention from boys is not enough to counter her body image issues as well as her problems with her father. The skin is also “a place of wounds and stigmatization” and Tracy’s hate for her body is reflected as she cuts herself to cope with her pain and family issues (Benthien 3).

Tracy's transformation into Evie is complete

If advertising continues to use sexuality as a tool of advertising, how harmful will its impact be for future generations? Advertising greatly influences the media and with the trend of hypersexual and promiscuous teens dominating television and movies, the younger generation may slowly be robbed of their childhood. With only one type of beauty represented in a hypersexualized society, what can we change now to prevent teens from going down the same path as Tracy in Thirteen?

Benthien, Claudia.  Skin: On the Cultural Border Between Self and the World. New York: Columbia University Press, 2002.

Kitch, Carolyn.  The Girl on the Magazine Cover: The Origins of Visual Stereotypes in American Mass Media. Chapel Hill: University of North Carolina Press, 2000.

Rutherford, Paul.  A World Made Sexy.  Toronto, University of Toronto Press, 2007.

Wolf, Naomi.  The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women. New York: Harpers Perennial, 2002.

Wykes, Maggie.  The Media and Body Image: If Looks Could Kill. New York: Sage Publications Ltd, 2005.